Helping each other cope
McNaughton students have pulled together to deal with losing fellow students
June 26, 2023, 2:15 pm
Ashley Bochek
McNaughton High School has suffered the loss of three high school students in the last two years.
Students have lost friends and classmates due to tragic motor vehicle accidents.
Each of the losses for some has been the loss of a classmate, for others the loss of a friend, or a familiar face in the hall.
I have grown up in Moosomin, and recently graduated from McNaughton High School.
I have always enjoyed school, where I spent time with my friends and and got to know kids in the hall from Grades 6 to 12.
These past few years have changed the sense of community at McNaughton. Now we are more than a school, we are a family, because we have learned to support one another in times of hurt and grief.
Recently, we lost a sweet young boy, and instantly our school responded and provided each and every one of us with counsellors, a memoriam, or just simply pairing us with a friend or staff member.
I have attended McNaughton High School for the past six years and have experienced the loss of Colleen McPhee (May 2021), Carter Lawrence (October 2021), and Ryly Griffin (June 2023).
Personally, I was changed from the moment I sat at a classmate’s funeral feeling like it was unfair to lose the firecracker of our class to unforeseeable outcomes at such a young age, knowing that we all have so much more life to live.
Every day I think of Carter and what he would do if he were still here. Since his passing I cannot help but smile to anyone I pass in the hall.
I am moving away for university next year and I am excited for my future, but can’t help but think of those whose lives ended far too early in their high school years.
The new challenges and memories I am excited to experience will only reflect the person I have grown to become since losing three beautiful souls I grew up with.
There is a pit in my stomach and a hole in my heart from the loss of these three McNaughton students these past two years, and as I cope I think of the three of them all having one another and us here, carrying them in our hearts.
I am the person I am today because of what each of these three students have taught me, and I will forever carry a piece of them wherever I go.
Sheilagh Garrett put it so well at Ryly’s funeral: “As a family, as friends, as classmates, as educators, as a larger community, we express our sadness in the only way we are able to—by supporting one another. We come together, we share stories, we laugh, and we cry, and sometimes we sit together in silence. And that coming together is such a huge part of the grieving process. The coming together . . . just being there for each other.”
Sheilagh is right. As humans, this is the only way we cope and move forward, by spending time with one another to remind us we are not alone in our pain and our grief.
The day after hearing about our classmate’s passing a year and a half ago, as a class we came together to sit in the drama room. We laughed, cried, and reminded each other of the good memories we each had with Carter. Later that afternoon we joined together at my house and spent the afternoon chatting and looking through yearbooks. It was the only thing we knew to do—just come together and feel like we were exactly where we needed to be, with one another.
I’ve never felt so empty missing Colleen’s smile, Carter’s jokes, and Ryly’s hugs. I am sure we all do.
I remember sitting in class and Carter tapping me on the shoulder saying, “Ash, how are you today?”
And he would make sure he would ask each day after that like he wanted to check in on me. He cared.
All three of them cared for their classmates and their friends.
I’ve missed those words, and his voice for a year and half now, and I wish I could say one last time “I am good Carter! How are you?”
A piece of my heart will cherish my high school days forever as that’s where I will hold special memories of these three beautiful students who have impacted me.
I wonder why it keeps happening and why in the last two years our school has unexpectedly had to say goodbye to some of the brightest smiles to walk our halls. Why us?
We all have been changed by the tragic events that have weighed on our hearts, and we have grown and supported one another through it all, but we are all too young to have gone through this at all, let alone more than once.
The last two years have brought sadness, pain, and grief to everyone at McNaughton, staff and students, as we all have been affected by the lost of humorous classmates and charming students.
The community has also been impacted by the loss of three teenage kids, and by the sorrow felt by their families and friends.
I have started to think of what I have learned since losing three angels who roamed our halls.
I have learned that time is precious and anything can happen, and we should live life more fully every day.
I have also learned to smile to anyone in the halls even if they may be a stranger, and that pictures are what help me cherish memories of those we’ve lost and never to be forgotten.
McNaughton has been a home, and a place that accepts and supports every student.
I am proud to have attended and known the wonderful students and staff throughout my years and to call myself a McNaughton High School graduate.
Ashley Bochek is a World-Spectator employee and a member of the 2023 graduating class at McNaughton High School in Moosomin.
